Grief Thought Entry 1
It has been just shy of a month since my husband unexpectedly passed away. This has been one heck of a journey to navigate all these sudden changes that no one truly prepares you for. Only God could have prepared me for this journey as I am learning how to navigate without my best friend, my spouse. Phillip and I have been on quite a few tough journeys in life. One thing I miss the most about my husband is our talks about any and everything. We always promised to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly and we did. Whenever tough conversations would arise and I felt some sort of way where I used to be able to run or hide my emotions when I was single, I could no longer do that because we were going to talk it out. My husband loved constructive debate on many topics. Coming home sometimes can be rough because reality sets in that he is truly gone. When everyone is excited about the weekend coming on the inside at times I am not really looking forward to it. I know these feelings will not always be present but now this is how things look. There are so many things to think about when you are now navigating uncharted territory. So many people are amazed at how I am handling all of this so well, it is only by faith. This season is bringing out a lot of areas that I have to improve or learn more about altogether. In life, I have had my fair share of losing people close to me, but this here hits very differently. I am truly going to embrace this season and not rush through any of it. Many times I have not truly been able to grieve and mourn, but this time I will. No one can tell you how to grieve or for how long, but remember do not stay there forever. GOD is in this!!!